Making sense of life when the good die young

Back home in Aus, two families on opposite sides of the country have lost sons who were also considered heroes by a huge base of adoring fans.

On January 5, I had a text from my mum to say that Clinton Grybas, a lad from my home town who coached my brother at basketball and studied Journalism with me at RMIT, had been found dead in his flat in Melbourne. Clinton had been full throttle on a meteoric career in sports journalism - voted Australian Sports journalist of the year at barely 30, calling Aussie Rules matche on national radio, and many of the sports at the last Olympics with flair and informed comment. And he was a totally lovely bloke - always took time to have a word to my dad off-air when Dad called Clinton's sports show on 3AW, asking after the family.

He'd built up a huge fan base in a short space of time, and it's felt weird to see so much written about him, in the papers and online, since he died. Here are footballers and cricketers who I've worshipped as players playing tribute to the the bloke I remember as a tall skinny fella, smart but a bit geeky, who we used to give a lift home to after training, cos he was too young to drive.

At the same time, I've devoured every article, every tribute, every posting on a website, hungry for stories to share. Here's his mum talking about replaying tapes of him at 7, calling the cricket just like Richie Benaud. There's a 3AW fan, saying they'll miss him giving stick to fellow-commentator Rex Hunt. Clinton is even on Wikipedia. And there's an email from Cliff Green, who still edits the local paper we both worked at, inviting tributes for the next edition. Finally, in came the emails from my mum, brother and dad, who went to his funeral, burial and wake. Only then did it begin to sink in that this incredible bloke is no longer in the world.

The other of course is movie star Heath Ledger, who may or may not have taken too many sleeping pills after a recent role gave him nightmares. Having been, in a small way, part of a public/private grieving over Clinton, all I can feel right now is enormous grief for his family. We expect our young, strong blokes to wake up in the morning, - dealing with it when they don't is hard enough without all the media attention.

But if there's an upside to all the public interest, it's this. I hope their families, the women who love them, and their closest friends, are able to share all the stories too. When someone goes too soon, we can't bring them back - but we do them a disservice if we let our grief at losing them take over our lives. It's okay to let the world stop for a bit. But little by little, I hope everyone who knew them can start doing the little things that perpetuate the best of these people - their essence - in the world a little longer. It's what helps us keep going when the 'goneness' threatens to overwhelm us.

And it makes the world a better place.